You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him
Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red.
His second favorite color is violet, but just because it
sounds like violent.
Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because
if Jack Bauer says something then you better fucking do
Your attraction to Jack Bauer in no way affects your
If you spell Jack Bauer in a Scrabble game, you win.
When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.
When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for
Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one
point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old
teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.
If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the
back of the bus.
Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack
Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice.
In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved
the world 4 times. What the fuck have you done with your
Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.
When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet
for Jack Bauer.