You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.

Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better fucking do it.

Your attraction to Jack Bauer in no way affects your sexual orientation.

If you spell Jack Bauer in a Scrabble game, you win. Forever.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.

If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus.

Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice.

In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the fuck have you done with your life?

Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.

When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.

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