If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.

Jack Bauers calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

President George W. Bush submitted a letter of appreciation to Jack Bauer and the writers of 24 for making a more unlikeable president than himself.

Jack Bauer did better than Zack Morris on his SATs... he got a 1503.

Jack Bauer once double teamed a girl... by himself.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's fucking beef.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

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